Thursday, October 23, 2008

Path

Rainbow,

I admit. Nothing is perfect not even to perfection in my view. I always try but the result is never in my hand. I try to impress but no one takes note. I try to talk but no one listen. I try to be generous but no one takes it seriously. What should I do if I don't even try? And when unacceptable event occurs, I ask myself "What If I did not do it?". But, why should I even bother letting these questions haunt my conscious? Period.

Take for example;
This guy that I met when we were in our early teens. Let's call him 5. It was love at first sight. We were in the same high school, took the same public transports and sometimes tuition classes. Every thing seemed so perfect but we were never a pair. We were really good buddies.

As time passed and when hormones were out of control, we told our world 'we are seeing each other'. This happened 10 years later when we in our late teens. University students. This time was different. Our mindset, friends, languages - you name it. To cut it short, it was a different love. It was commited love. Did I mention. we're from different backgrounds? We celebrate the different festivals, language, food, traditions and more.

One dreadful incident which changed my everything.

Being with 5 for the first 560 days was great. It was genuine. As a matter of fact, 5 and I really 'loved' each other, I was from my side.

I never understand the word 'third party'. Is there a party down the third lane? Or is it someone is having her/his party in between a couple? Well, as I have mentioned, I don't know. Cruel enough, I saw S and 'ms. third' on bed. 'ms third' was a closed friend. That's wrap up the whole break-up details. I was alone.

I wonder:
a) what are the possibility a person cheats?
c) and what is the best break up reason?

Five maturing years have passed and I don't have any recognition of 5. I knew they broke up after 6 months. I didn't care. I heard 5 is with someone now. I didn't care either. I heard 5 thinks of me often. I didn't even want to know more. I gave up on 5. But........ if I have to thank 5, I would love to tell 5 for making me a stronger and better other half in a relationship.Period.

I understand now. No matter how hard I can or will try, result is not with me. The efforts that I invest in only help to shape the path. The path that sees result, and not the result I have in mind.It is the path that is meaningful but never the result.

Future:
He will be a great son, father, in-law and most of all my partner in crime for all times. It is never an easy journey to shape this path, never is, but I will do the trying.

1 comment:

  1. wah, that 5 dude sounds like a loser. So tak malu. Now you're with an awesome guy, so yay :D Remy can walk down the aisle with you hehe

    ReplyDelete